It's getting worse...
What if you didn’t NEED the approval of others to feel confident that you can make good decisions for you and your kids? What if you had a group of friends that understood your marriage problems and could offer the support and acceptance you crave? Friends that have your back and will love you and respect the choices you’re making? …And what if you had a way of dealing with your old hurts and baggage so you can deprogram from the lies that are keeping you stuck — and start walking with confidence and hope?
(You feel like you could get through this if you weren't so alone...)
A lifeline of support and help for women of faith experiencing emotional and spiritual abuse in their relationships.
Bite-sized weekly lessons along with mini-journal assignments focused on helping you get rid of toxic core beliefs, replacing them with truth that will strengthen you so you can go from crawling to flying. One easy step at a time.
Daily support from a group of women exactly like you who are learning and growing together, sharing stories, praying for each other, and offering insights and wisdom every step of the way. You’re no longer doing this alone!
The transformational experience you need to get you unstuck and moving forward in your personal life, your relationship with God, and your relationships with those around you.
"I came to Flying Free confused and broken-hearted...I was at the bottom of the pit. Up seemed impossible, but down seemed like a terrible choice, too. I was scared. When I announced my divorce, my family betrayed me, and it was the worst pain I'd ever felt in my entire life. But slowly I got the strength to climb. I don't know how, but finally I've made it to the top and it's so amazing! I'm now cheering other people on. Life is going to be good. It's still complicated, but finally, there is hope. I never would have gotten here without Flying Free."
"Before I started Flying Free, I was in a fog and felt so alone...I was scared and felt like such an outsider. I couldn't take it anymore. After being in Flying Free for several months, I'm now connected to so many women facing similar situations. It's was eye-opening for me to realize my partner's blaming, minimizing, rationalizing, and playing victim were part of an endless cycle. Once I saw that, I was able to identify and deal with the behaviors in better ways, and I slowly came out of the fog and heartache. My divorce is almost final, and I now live in my home with my 3 kids in peace and predictability. I learned to stop engaging. To stop trying to understand crazy. To walk away. Freedom is on the other side."
Your Flying Free membership is only $20 per month. When the time comes to register, you can pay with a credit card or through PayPal, and you'll be automatically charged every month on the same day you subscribed. You may unsubscribe at any time. Your payment will show up on your credit card as going to N Hoffman. There is also the option to purchase a one-year membership for $200. This is a savings of $40 - or twelve months for the price of ten.
Flying Free costs a fraction of what you'd pay for counseling (up to $150 a pop!) and medical bills to deal with the psychological and physical repercussions of emotional abuse, and many women have told me Flying Free has had a greater impact on their healing than any of the above. If you knew that you would be a different person a few short months from now in an incredibly life-transforming way - would the cost of Flying Free be worth that?
However, if you are in a position where you have absolutely no wiggle room financially, see if a friend or family member would be willing to sponsor you for a couple of months. Send them updates on how their investment is paying off in your life. This may encourage them to continue to sponsor you! People love to know how they can help—sometimes all you need to do is ask.
Some of our members need an extra layer of safety. One of the ways they've solved this problem is to purchase a pre-loaded Visa gift card at Walmart or other major chain grocery or drug store. Banks sell them, too. Another idea is to have a friend or family member use their credit card, and you can pay them back with cash.
Flying Free doesn't actually take a lot of time. There's a buffet of options within the Flying Free membership group, but it's exactly that. A buffet. You don't have to eat every single dish. You can sample them if you'd like and stick with the ones that meet YOUR specific needs each month. Even if all you do is read the lessons each week (packed with life-changing insights into emotional abuse and your healing process) or just watch the videos, you'll get your money's worth. Or maybe you simply want the support and fellowship of other women going through exactly what you're going through? The secret Facebook community may be all it takes to give you what you need to heal.
Flying Free is unique in some important ways. First, we use journal therapy as the main tool for recovery and healing.
Second, as the facilitator of Flying Free, I bring over 25 years of experience in an emotionally abusive marriage as well as experience dealing with spiritually abusive counselors and church leaders to the table. I'm not a professional. I'm a survivor walking beside you.
Third, I've read over 200 books and resources directly related to emotional and spiritual abuse, and I've vetted the cream of the crop. I can not only direct women to the best resources for their needs, but I have written several courses available to all Flying Free members that break down the things I've learned into easy, bite sized lessons PERFECT for women who are still in the thick of the battle and don't have time or energy to study the prolific amount of information out there.
And finally, I bring other professional authors and advocates to you so you can learn from a wide variety of experts.
That's one of the most confusing problems to figure out, and guess what? Flying Free will help you do exactly that. If you aren't ready for Flying Free yet, I recommend getting my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage. That book will help you discover whether or not you are in an emotionally abusive relationship—and the next steps you can take to find hope and healing again.
Oh my goodness, YES! We've got lots of women in Flying Free who are committed to staying in their marriage relationship. They are working on themselves and growing strong. One member's husband was so impressed with the changes in his wife, now HE is beginning to change! Does that happen every time? Nope. In fact, it's actually rare. But my point is - getting strong and healthy can only be a good thing, whether or not your spouse changes.
Reacting to abuse in unhealthy ways just means you need help with boundaries. Your counselor may actually be missing a whole lot of what you really need. Flying Free will give you the tools you need to grow strong in your own boundaries so you can respond to abuse as a mature adult woman rather than a trapped cat in a corner.
That's okay. Change is totally up to you. You can take it slow, or you can have a major epiphany overnight. But Flying Free will never force you to do or change anything. If you join and you change (which I believe you will), I promise it will be because you WANT to. Flying Free will help you make an honest assessment of what's going on in your life while empowering you to make good decisions that will be healthy for you and your family.
My name is Natalie Hoffman. I'm a mom of nine, educator, entrepreneur, author, life coach, daughter of God, and survivor of spiritual and covert narcissistic abuse.
I separated from my husband of 22 years in 2014 and filed for divorce in early 2016. I suffered shunning and excommunication from my church, Bethlehem Baptist in Minneapolis, MN, and my divorce was final at the end of 2017.
I am now remarried and enjoy a mutually respectful, caring relationship with a good man.
I know what it means to crawl, and I know what it means to fly. My passion is to help women of faith go from one to the other.
I've walked this path with hundreds of women, and I know it well. I'm ready to walk it beside you, too.
You're not alone, anymore.
""Before Flying Free I felt judged and devalued by my pastor and other leaders in my church. I just wanted help with the continuous, escalating problems in my marriage. But nobody understood or took me seriously. After a few months in Flying Free, I was able to regain my balance, live in more peace and clarity, and strengthen my faith and spirit. I found sound Biblical counsel, and I developed relationships with other women who sincerely cared and understood where I was. And more importantly, I learned how how to lovingly and wisely move forward."
Now is the time to let go of the toxic messages, core beliefs, and relationships that are shaming and controlling you—so you can move into a place of wholeness and beautiful strength. The kind of inner freedom that will enable you to rise up and truly LIVE in safety and rest. Let's get started!
"I was done with the *home-wife-mom* help groups. I was ready for something different. No facilitator or group of women has been as transparent, down to earth, heart searching, God loving, diverse, funny, raw, real, and strengthening as these women. Natalie is a very gifted communicator, encourager, and a genuine, wise, witty and passionate-for-honesty facilitator and coach. Jumping into this group was one of the best decisions I ever made."
T.M. Corpus Christi, TX
"I was afraid to let my damaged parts show. I kept a lot of myself locked up tight, but gently, God has used Flying Free to open up a crack. I am post-divorce, but the posts, assignments, and guided journaling apply to me very deeply. Natalie knows how to ask good questions that prompt self-reflection and push me toward Christ—toward stepping into who He made me to be. I feel safe here. I have grown a ton in the past two months, and Flying Free is a big part of that."
S.W. Madison, WI
"It's hard to describe how isolated I felt before Flying Free. I hardly understand the truth and reality of my situation- the narcissistic abuse, coupled with my inclination to remain invested in “fixing” my marriage, left me swirling in confusion. I was trying my best to stay focused on God but felt very much isolated from support. Flying Free provided a bridge to a community of women who were walking the same the journey I was on. I could recover at my own pace. The best thing is simply the acknowledgement and understanding and validation from this group. While we all find ourselves in different abuse situations, the patterns are the same. The experiences are shared. We can tell our truths and receive support instead of misguided advice. Flying Free has allowed me to heal much faster. Part of our healing process, scripturally, is sharing our testimony in a supportive community, and that’s the kind of help I've received here. "
R.M. Tulsa, OK
"I was worried it wouldn't be worth the money since finances are a major struggle right now. Turns out it has saved me money since I can do the lessons on my time and don't need to pay a babysitter so I can see a councilor. I have received more emotional help through Flying Free than two years of weekly counseling."
W.M. Lincoln, NE
"Before I joined Flying Free, I was wandering around in the darkness of shame, guilt, and fear. I was utterly lost inside myself. One of the worst traumas of my life had just occurred. The man who claimed to love me and wanted to spend his life with me, took a gun to my head and threatened to kill me. Only by Gods grace did I live, only by Gods grace did he not pull the trigger. The weeks that followed were confusing and scary. I prayed all the time. God led me to flying free. This group has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. Flying Free has given me tools and resources. I no longer look at my hurts as a defect. I see the struggles and scars as the places where God pulled me through, and I’m proud to show off my battle scars. I am no longer afraid."
S.T. Mesa, AZ
"I came to Flying Free post-divorce. I wanted to make sure I was covering all of the bases in order to ensure healing for myself and my kids. Through Natalie's leadership and insight and this amazing group of women, I've realized that there are additional toxic relationships in my life that need to be dealt with. I really wasn't sure that I needed to be in Flying Free, but am so grateful to be here! I will continue to fight for complete freedom for my family!
D.H. Pittsburgh PA
"I was still trying to figure out where my own path would lead. Flying Free gave me support, love, and clarity about my own situation through the interactions and information presented. I am feeling stronger and more clear every day. Natalie has put together a wealth of excellent information to help women in abusive relationships. I am learning new things and feeling encouraged to regain my strength and dignity.
B.R. Houston, TX
"I had spent the last three years crying. It took two years for the divorce to be final. I had left my church, withdrew my membership and moved away. I bought a cabin in the mountains and finalized small details. But, I struggled daily with depression. After I joined Flying Free, I felt like I finally found a group of sisters that understood my story. We might not live close, but we understand abuse, and we try to help one another through prayer and encouragement. This group has been a huge benefit to me.
M.K. Newark, NJ
"I had felt alone and isolated for so long. Flying Free was God's answer to my sorrow and loneliness in this area of abuse, because although I am loved by my friends and family, not a single person in my community truly grasps my experience. With Natalie & the Flying Free ladies I know that:
1. There's no judgment and "good wifey lectures."
2. They're not going to treat me like a victim or feel sorry for me .
3. It's real support and real advice, based on our relationship with Christ and not traditions of man."
K.D. Ames, IA
"I was drowning, and Natalie threw me a life-line. I had a year of counseling, but I grew more working through the courses in Flying Free. These resources are unique and better than other things I've found out there, and the structure keeps me motivated. This has been a great investment of time and money."
G.B. Boston, MA
There is something new and exciting to look forward to every week. I also love that we are a faith-based group of like-minded believers, but I see acceptance and respect which is healing after being in circles where that has not been demonstrated.
H.S. Fargo, ND
"Ladies, I have read dozens of books, multiple blogs, listened to various podcasts over the last three years, searching to make sense of the abuse I have been through in my life. I got many answers, but never the answers that related to me as a woman devoted to God. That was the one unanswered question I had been praying for when God led me to Natalie's website. It has been only a week of reading her book and studying the course, but I realize now that this resource is all the help I would have needed!! All of you new members are bountifully blessed to have found this at the beginning of your journey. I say "journey" because that is what your new life will be. You have been led by God out of your Egypt into a wandering journey where God will lead you and teach you. Trust that he will lead you out of the land of confusion. As with the multitude, He will guide you with his fire by night and His cloud by day. He will feed you His life giving manna and refresh you with His springs of living water. But this is going to be a difficult, challenging journey. Natalie has provided you with a priceless resource to carry you through to the promised land of freedom from abuse and regeneration of your soul so that you can truly Fly Free into the arms of your loving Father. Remember this: You didn't break it. You don't have to fix it. Just trust this. You will learn the truth of it as you study. I want to share with you one little fact I have learned in my "wanderings" that may help you be kinder to yourself. The normal unabused brain needs 1 to 7 times of repititons of a concept before it can assimilate and apply it. Your brain (and mine) has been damaged by the abuse we have suffered. An abused brain takes 100 to 200 times of repitition. Now, don't be overwhelmed about this. God is the one we rely on. He can change the dynamic. So when you get anxious about your inability to understand and process all the information given to us by Natalie, be kind to yourself. Take baby steps. God, bless our journeys. Give us hope and peace."