FLYING FREE

An online education and support community for women of faith in destructive relationships.

Join the waiting list for April, 2019

You knew marriage would take hard work...but you thought you’d be in it together.

  • Every couple has problems, of course, but YOU hate to even bring up problems with your husband. You just wind up tangled in a neverending battle, and then you walk away carrying the blame.
  • He hates the things you enjoy, and you’re drowning in loneliness even though you have other friends. (Other people seem to like you…why doesn’t HE?)
  • You hate to admit it, but you feel the most peaceful when he’s not even around.

You dreamed of having an intimate relationship where you felt safe and loved.

  • Instead, you find yourself constantly gauging your husband’s emotions in every situation. (Ever felt like you’re walking on eggshells? It’s a good way to cut your feet.)
  • You work hard to avoid the critical words + looks when he’s annoyed with something you’ve said or done.
  • You DO feel loved sometimes…but only when you’re successful at making him happy and keeping his ego stroked. (And MAN, that doesn’t last long.)

You’ve done everything you know to do…

  • You’ve read marriage books (a STACK of them), and you’ve done everything they say: Showed him more respect. Started speaking ALL FIVE love languages. Showed him you cared enough to have sex on his terms. 
  • You’ve sought “wise counsel” from people at your church. From elders. People who KNOW the Bible. You’re trying to get answers, but they just don’t see what’s really happening. (…and nothing will make you feel more invisible.).
  • You can see YOU have grown, in spite of the pressure. You’re more kind. More forgiving. But it’s getting harder to forgive, harder to keep your cool when you feel like lashing out at his accusations (LORD, please give me patience!)
  • …And it’s tough to admit, but when you’re honest? It’s not getting better.  

It's getting worse...

But what if...

What if you didn’t NEED the approval of others to feel confident that you can make good decisions for you and your kids? What if you had a group of friends that understood your marriage problems and could offer the support and acceptance you crave? Friends that have your back and will love you and respect the choices you’re making? …And what if you had a way of dealing with your old hurts and baggage so you can deprogram from the lies that are keeping you stuck — and start walking with confidence and hope?

Imagine not being afraid of the future because you know other women who have been exactly where you are right now.

(You feel like you could get through this if you weren't so alone...)

Now You Don't Have to Be!

Introducing

The Flying Free Membership Community

A lifeline of support and help for women of faith experiencing emotional and spiritual abuse in their relationships.

Sign up to get on the waiting list

What's Inside?

Monthly Courses

Bite-sized weekly lessons along with mini-journal assignments focused on helping you get rid of toxic core beliefs, replacing them with truth that will strengthen you so you can go from crawling to flying. One easy step at a time

Peer Support

Daily support from a group of women exactly like you who are learning and growing together, sharing stories, praying for each other, and offering insights and wisdom every step of the way. You’re no longer doing this alone!

Expert Workshops and Live Events

The transformational experience you need to get you unstuck and moving forward in your personal life, your relationship with God, and your relationships with those around you.

"I came to Flying Free confused and broken-hearted...I was at the bottom of the pit. Up seemed impossible, but down seemed like a terrible choice, too. I was scared. When I announced my divorce, my family betrayed me, and it was the worst pain I'd ever felt in my entire life. But slowly I got the strength to climb. I don't know how, but finally I've made it to the top and it's so amazing! I'm now cheering other people on. Life is going to be good. It's still complicated, but finally, there is hope. I never would have gotten here without Flying Free."

K.T. Omaha, NE
Flying Free Member

When you join the Flying Free community, you'll get:

  • Weekly mini journal therapy assignments that will teach you how to set healthy boundaries, tolerate disapproval, have self-compassion, and grow a deeper relationship with your Creator. You'll grow up into that strong adult you've dreamed of being your whole life.
  • Access to a different educational course every month. Explore topics like boundaries, spiritual abuse, detaching and detoxing from emotional abuse, parenting post-abuse, untangling Scripture used to control you, recovering from C-PTSD, and more. And don't worry—you'll get lessons in small, bite-sized portions so you won't get overwhelmed. 
  • Access to a small, secret Facebook community made up of about 100 women who are going through the same things you're going through. These women will become some of your most trusted friends as you support and encourage one another on your journey toward wholeness.
  • One LIVE coffee chat with Natalie and others in Flying Free each month where we'll discuss the issues going on in your lives right now.
  • One 2-hour LIVE Q&A with Natalie every month where you'll get to ask questions related to emotional and religious abuse and get practical answers and encouragement to help you move forward. 
  • NEW FOR 2019: A brand new, exclusive workshop every month with an influential author/advocate. 
  • A "Butterfly" video interview every month with a survivor so you can see how other women have gone from crawling to flying and learn from their experiences. 
  • The opportunity to join private online book studies where you can dig deeper into a life-changing book with other women just like you.
  • Access to the growing video library of past Q&A's and coffee chats chock full of golden nuggets and quick wins to educate and inspire you on your healing journey.
  • Priority. This group gets the cream off the top of everything I learn (and I'm constantly reading in this field of work.) You'll experience the benefits of being priority every single week. 
  • BONUS: A portion of every month's proceeds goes to the ministry, Give Her Wings which offers money and support to victims of domestic violence escaping their abusive situation. When you join Flying Free, you're not just getting help, you're giving help to other women in need at the same time.

Open Again for Registration April 29, 2014

Join the waiting list!

"Before I started Flying Free, I was in a fog and felt so alone...I was scared and felt like such an outsider. I couldn't take it anymore. After being in Flying Free for several months, I'm now connected to so many women facing similar situations. It's was eye-opening for me to realize my partner's blaming, minimizing, rationalizing, and playing victim were part of an endless cycle. Once I saw that, I was able to identify and deal with the behaviors in better ways, and I slowly came out of the fog and heartache. My divorce is almost final, and I now live in my home with my 3 kids in peace and predictability. I learned to stop engaging. To stop trying to understand crazy. To walk away. Freedom is on the other side."

J.S. - Paducah, KY
Flying Free Member

Frequently Asked Questions About Flying Free

Your Flying Free membership is only $20 per month. When the time comes to register, you can pay with a credit card or through PayPal, and you'll be automatically charged every month on the same day you subscribed. You may unsubscribe at any time. Your payment will show up on your credit card as going to N Hoffman. 

Flying Free costs a fraction of what you'd pay for counseling (up to $150 a pop!) and medical bills to deal with the psychological and physical repercussions of emotional abuse, and many women have told me Flying Free has had a greater impact on their healing than any of the above. If you knew that you would be a different person a few short months from now in an incredibly life-transforming way - would the cost of Flying Free be worth that?

However, if you are in a position where you have absolutely no wiggle room financially, see if a friend or family member would be willing to sponsor you for a couple of months. Send them updates on how their investment is paying off in your life. This may encourage them to continue to sponsor you! People love to know how they can help—sometimes all you need to do is ask.

Some of our members need an extra layer of safety. One of the ways they've solved this problem is to purchase a pre-loaded Visa gift card at Walmart or other major chain grocery or drug store. Banks sell them, too. Another idea is to have a friend or family member use their credit card, and you can pay them back with cash.  

Flying Free doesn't actually take a lot of time. There's a buffet of options within the Flying Free membership group, but it's exactly that. A buffet. You don't have to eat every single dish. You can sample them if you'd like and stick with the ones that meet YOUR specific needs each month. Even if all you do is read the lessons each week (packed with life-changing insights into emotional abuse and your healing process) or just watch the videos, you'll get your money's worth. Or maybe you simply want the support and fellowship of other women going through exactly what you're going through? The secret Facebook community may be all it takes to give you what you need to heal.

Flying Free is unique in some important ways. First, we use journal therapy as the main tool for recovery and healing.

Second, as the facilitator of Flying Free, I bring over 25 years of experience in an emotionally abusive marriage as well as experience dealing with spiritually abusive counselors and church leaders to the table. I'm not a professional. I'm a survivor walking beside you.

Third, I've read over 200 books and resources directly related to emotional and spiritual abuse, and I've vetted the cream of the crop. I can not only direct women to the best resources for their needs, but I have written several courses available to all Flying Free members that break down the things I've learned into easy, bite sized lessons PERFECT for women who are still in the thick of the battle and don't have time or energy to study the prolific amount of information out there.

And finally, I bring other professional authors and advocates to you so you can learn from a wide variety of experts.

That's one of the most confusing problems to figure out, and guess what? Flying Free will help you do exactly that. If you aren't ready for Flying Free yet, I recommend getting my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage. That book will help you discover whether or not you are in an emotionally abusive relationship—and the next steps you can take to find hope and healing again.  

Oh my goodness, YES! We've got lots of women in Flying Free who are committed to staying in their marriage relationship. They are working on themselves and growing strong. One member's husband was so impressed with the changes in his wife, now HE is beginning to change! Does that happen every time? Nope. In fact, it's actually rare. But my point is - getting strong and healthy can only be a good thing, whether or not your spouse changes. 

Reacting to abuse in unhealthy ways just means you need help with boundaries. Your counselor may actually be missing a whole lot of what you really need. Flying Free will give you the tools you need to grow strong in your own boundaries so you can respond to abuse as a mature adult woman rather than a trapped cat in a corner. 

That's okay. Change is totally up to you. You can take it slow, or you can have a major epiphany overnight. But Flying Free will never force you to do or change anything. If you join and you change (which I believe you will), I promise it will be because you WANT to. Flying Free will help you make an honest assessment of what's going on in your life while empowering you to make good decisions that will be healthy for you and your family.  

Join the waiting list!

Meet Your Flight Instructor

My name is Natalie Hoffman. I'm a mom of nine, educator, entrepreneur, author, life coach, daughter of God, and survivor of spiritual and covert narcissistic abuse. 

I separated from my husband of 22 years in 2014 and filed for divorce in early 2016. I suffered shunning and excommunication from my church, Bethlehem Baptist in Minneapolis, MN, and my divorce was final at the end of 2017.

I am now remarried and enjoy a mutually respectful, caring relationship with a good man. 

I know what it means to crawl, and I know what it means to fly. My passion is to help women of faith go from one to the other. 

I've walked this path with hundreds of women, and I know it well. I'm ready to walk it beside you, too. 

You're not alone, anymore.

""Before Flying Free I felt judged and devalued by my pastor and other leaders in my church. I just wanted help with the continuous, escalating problems in my marriage. But nobody understood or took me seriously. After a few months in Flying Free, I was able to regain my balance, live in more peace and clarity, and strengthen my faith and spirit. I found sound Biblical counsel, and I developed relationships with other women who sincerely cared and understood where I was. And more importantly, I learned how how to lovingly and wisely move forward."

P.H. Atlanta, GA
Flying Free Member

Are you ready to go from crawling to flying?

Now is the time to let go of the toxic messages, core beliefs, and relationships that are shaming and controlling you—so you can move into a place of wholeness and beautiful strength. The kind of inner freedom that will enable you to rise up and truly LIVE in safety and rest. Let's get started!

Join the waiting list!

Here's What Flying Free Members Are Saying

"I was done with the *home-wife-mom* help groups. I was ready for something different. No facilitator or group of women has been as transparent, down to earth, heart searching, God loving, diverse, funny, raw, real, and strengthening as these women. Natalie is a very gifted communicator, encourager, and a genuine, wise, witty and passionate-for-honesty facilitator and coach. Jumping into this group was one of the best decisions I ever made."

T.M. Corpus Christi, TX

"I was afraid to let my damaged parts show. I kept a lot of myself locked up tight, but gently, God has used Flying Free to open up a crack. I am post-divorce, but the posts, assignments, and guided journaling apply to me very deeply. Natalie knows how to ask good questions that prompt self-reflection and push me toward Christ—toward stepping into who He made me to be. I feel safe here. I have grown a ton in the past two months, and Flying Free is a big part of that."

S.W. Madison, WI

"It's hard to describe how isolated I felt before Flying Free. I hardly understand the truth and reality of my situation- the narcissistic abuse, coupled with my inclination to remain invested in “fixing” my marriage, left me swirling in confusion. I was trying my best to stay focused on God but felt very much isolated from support. Flying Free provided a bridge to a community of women who were walking the same the journey I was on. I could recover at my own pace. The best thing is simply the acknowledgement and understanding and validation from this group. While we all find ourselves in different abuse situations, the patterns are the same. The experiences are shared. We can tell our truths and receive support instead of misguided advice. Flying Free has allowed me to heal much faster. Part of our healing process, scripturally, is sharing our testimony in a supportive community, and that’s the kind of help I've received here. "

R.M. Tulsa, OK

"I was worried it wouldn't be worth the money since finances are a major struggle right now. Turns out it has saved me money since I can do the lessons on my time and don't need to pay a babysitter so I can see a councilor. I have received more emotional help through Flying Free than two years of weekly counseling."

W.M. Lincoln, NE

"Before I joined Flying Free, I was wandering around in the darkness of shame, guilt, and fear. I was utterly lost inside myself. One of the worst traumas of my life had just occurred. The man who claimed to love me and wanted to spend his life with me, took a gun to my head and threatened to kill me. Only by Gods grace did I live, only by Gods grace did he not pull the trigger. The weeks that followed were confusing and scary. I prayed all the time. God led me to flying free. This group has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. Flying Free has given me tools and resources. I no longer look at my hurts as a defect. I see the struggles and scars as the places where God pulled me through, and I’m proud to show off my battle scars. I am no longer afraid."

S.T. Mesa, AZ

"I came to Flying Free post-divorce. I wanted to make sure I was covering all of the bases in order to ensure healing for myself and my kids. Through Natalie's leadership and insight and this amazing group of women, I've realized that there are additional toxic relationships in my life that need to be dealt with. I really wasn't sure that I needed to be in Flying Free, but am so grateful to be here! I will continue to fight for complete freedom for my family!

D.H. Pittsburgh PA

"I was still trying to figure out where my own path would lead. Flying Free gave me support, love, and clarity about my own situation through the interactions and information presented. I am feeling stronger and more clear every day. Natalie has put together a wealth of excellent information to help women in abusive relationships. I am learning new things and feeling encouraged to regain my strength and dignity.

B.R. Houston, TX

"I had spent the last three years crying. It took two years for the divorce to be final. I had left my church, withdrew my membership and moved away. I bought a cabin in the mountains and finalized small details. But, I struggled daily with depression. After I joined Flying Free, I felt like I finally found a group of sisters that understood my story. We might not live close, but we understand abuse, and we try to help one another through prayer and encouragement. This group has been a huge benefit to me.

M.K. Newark, NJ

"I had felt alone and isolated for so long. Flying Free was God's answer to my sorrow and loneliness in this area of abuse, because although I am loved by my friends and family, not a single person in my community truly grasps my experience. With Natalie & the Flying Free ladies I know that:  

1. There's no judgment and "good wifey lectures."  

2. They're not going to treat me like a victim or feel sorry for me .  

3. It's real support and real advice, based on our relationship with Christ and not traditions of man."

K.D. Ames, IA

 

"I was drowning, and Natalie threw me a life-line. I had a year of counseling, but I grew more working through the courses in Flying Free. These resources are unique and better than other things I've found out there, and the structure keeps me motivated. This has been a great investment of time and money."

G.B. Boston, MA

There is something new and exciting to look forward to every week. I also love that we are a faith-based group of like-minded believers, but I see acceptance and respect which is healing after being in circles where that has not been demonstrated.

H.S. Fargo, ND

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